16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
