If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
