all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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