Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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