just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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