So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
