Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
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