The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
