Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Dicks are not precious.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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