Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
barbara walters just said penis...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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