quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
