careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
