i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
