some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
