Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
