why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
