Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
