I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
