she looked like the before picture.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
this will be a night to untag.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
