Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
