we made out on top of his cat.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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