At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
