all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Let's paint friendship bongs
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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