Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
