Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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