Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
