You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
