i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
