found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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