Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
