"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
