all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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