I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
