During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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