i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Randomize
