ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
whose parrot is this?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
