I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
