Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
