Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
please come you make the beer taste better
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
