VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
