Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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