You're completely useless in the revolution.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
