This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
