mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
