i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
