i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
