what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
