Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
