I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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