If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's never too late to be topless.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
