I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
