Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
