I got chris browned last night
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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