so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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