I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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